Sports

Here’s A Video Of Corgis Racing In What Could Be The Greatest Sporting Event Of All-Time

Sports. Competition. You get it, or you don’t. The quest to be the greatest can seem like a selfish ideal, but when an athlete wishes to ascend from good to great to elite, they need to put on the blinders like they’re about to gnaw on the most delicious bone in the world. This is the world of corgi racing. A rough and tumble sport that’s mostly been held in unsanctioned arenas where the only known footage is posted in clandestine Facebook groups from shaky, handheld cameras. But this is a sport that’s growing, and growing fast. Corgi racing has hit the big time by hosting its first event at Canterbury Park in Minnesota. It was highly successful.

It was a beautiful day for corgi racing, but the tension was thick, like soft food mixed with kibble. Through six heats and a final, one of these corgis would go home as a champion, hoisted upon his family’s shoulders, fifty dollars richer. From the moment the first whistle was blown, it was obvious this event would be memorable, but could anyone have known it would turn out to be one of the greatest sporting events in corgi racing, or even racing in general’s history? No. Impossible.

Stars were born and snuffed out in an instant. Logan Handsomepants looked like he was destined for the bright lights, but he seemed to gas when he did a victory sprint after heat 2. It left the field wide open and probably cost his owners a cool fifty bucks. Even after that early leader’s exit, there was no shortage of drama.

Look at #12, trying with all of his might to edge over that finish line. He groans with effort as he slips into second place.

Sadly, in the next heat, #12, a.k.a. Myles, would get turned around and leave the track without finishing. That, after so much effort. Corgi racing is not for the feint of heart. Even the pros can’t handle the swings.

As the heats continued and the stakes were raised, tempers between the corgis would flare. Highlights include a fight breaking out, various participants trying to leave the race, possibly in some sort of protest for more treats, and some would even roll around in the mud happily, delaying the competition. The best of the best would ignore these distractions and would not be deterred. The glory, fifty dollars and a lifetime of cuddles would be theirs, if they could make it through the next few races. These amazing corgis would give everything they had on that track sometimes, and they would do it with a smile on their face.

Look at Ottis. Hustling. Scrappy. This is grit. This is determination.

Of course, the day would not be free from mishaps. There would be crashes. Warning: wipeout ahead.

In the finals, Pendleton would dig deep and take a miraculous come from behind victory. Bursting from the number four position, with just feet to the finish line, Pendleton would win by a long, corgi body-length. In fact, he leapt over the finish line, going completely airborne (probably in celebration).

After all the slobber and runs through the park in a lifetime of training, Pendleton the tri color became the inaugural Corgi Race champion. As the announcer said multiple times, he would live on as an immortal. This is not disputed.

Congratulations, Pendleton.

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