Craig Counsell Is The Worst

Pro Wrestling Editor
08.02.11 6 Comments

My good friend Jon Bois of SB Nation is always asking people who the most ____ player ever is. “Who is the most trade deadline player of all time?” My vote was for Orlando Cabrera, because he’s involved in literally every trade thing and people always pretend like getting him is a great idea. “Who is the most Baltimore Orioles player of all time?” (Chris Hoiles) “Who is the most Philadelphia Phillies player of all time?” (Von Hayes) I’d say that “who is the most ___ player of all time” is the most SB Nation question of all time.

That being said, we might have an answer for the question “who is the least Baseball Player player of all time?” Milwaukee Brewers utilityman Craig Counsell is that man (yes, he’s still playing … no, I didn’t realize it either). According to a report from Big League Stew and also baseball stats, the poor man’s B.J. Surhoff holds one unique distinction (being the only player to have been on base for two game-winning hits in Game 7 of the World Series) and is closing in on another — if he doesn’t record a hit in his next at-bat, he’ll tie a record set in 1909 by Brooklyn’s Bill Bergen for most consecutive ABs without a hit by a position player. He’s currently hitless in his last 45 at-bats.

Craig Counsell is some kind of perverse, anti-Moonlight Graham. The guy has been around since 1995 (1995!) with a lifetime .256 average and 41 total home runs. He’s had seven stints on five different teams and his absolute biggest selling point is a sorta high Spatial Aggregate Fielding Evaluation. Yet somehow he’s a two-time World Series Champion (sorry Tony Gwynn, sorry Ted Williams) and an NLCS MVP. I think it’s safe to say Craig Counsell is the most Craig Counsell player of all time.

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