01.08.09 9 years ago 9 Comments

Manchester United star/prostitute aficionado Cristiano Ronaldo was driving from Manchester Airport when he totaled his $300,000 Ferrari.  Somewhat less importantly, Ronaldo was unharmed.  No other cars were involved, it was 10:00 in the morning, and the only “road condition” of note is that he was driving in a tunnel.  In other words, he drives like a sixteen-year-old Valley girl.

A witness said: “The front of Ronaldo’s car was completely mangled. There was metal all over the road and debris – and we had to dodge our way through it. Ronaldo was just standing at the side of the road looking forlorn and bewildered.

“My daughter said to me, ‘Oh my God – that’s Cristiano Ronaldo!’ It’s amazing he was okay because his car looked so bad.”

I just hate it when bad things happen to responsible, respectful role models like Cristiano Ronaldo.  Do you have any idea how much this must affect him?  Three hundred thousand dollars is his hooker budget for two whole months!

(Also: SCP / WWTDDUPDATE: another photo here)

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