05.01.07 11 years ago 21 Comments

Victoria Beckham arrived at LAX the other day, and not even a bra and tank top could keep her nipples from poking through.  At this point I'm not sure there's much that contain them.  A mattress, maybe?  She could very well be a catburglar, cutting circular holes in glass with those to steal the jewels while everyone's having fun at a cocktail party downstairs.

Some people say she looks like a wax figure or some kind of plastic doll, what with the ridiculous implants, her probably unhealthy skinniness, and the unchanging not-quite-lifelike expression she always has on her face.  They say it like it's a bad thing.  But let me tell you, there are some hot wax figures out there.  So, Madame Tussaud, if you're reading this, you can tell your high and mighty employees that what I did is the result of an addiction — not to mention perfectly acceptable in several Asian countries.  Hmmph.

Note: These pictures do contain an eye hazard, so you may want to put on safety glasses.  And also make sure the boss isn't standing behind you. 

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