11.14.06 11 years ago 7 Comments

The New York Daily News is reporting that Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is pregnant with husband/hottie/washed-up EPL star/future MLS star David's fourth child, as she was seen buying $3000 of baby clothes at a boutique in LA (third item).

What an amazing woman to have as a wife. I can't effectively put into words how badly I want to get married to a skinny British pop star with big fake tits who retires from shaking her ass in music videos in order to be my love slave and have babies. (And as this YouTube video shows, she has a delightful sense of humor as well.) Although I can't decide in this daydream if I want to be a fabulously rich international soccer star, a fabulously rich rock star who runs a non-profit to give stray puppies homes, or Spider-Man.

Whichever one I choose, though, you can bet I'm not losing these looks. Watch out, Beckham. You had best stay away from the New York Red Bulls when you come to MLS. I will charm Victoria away from you with my dazzling smile… and this ether-soaked rag.

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