David Kahn Wanted Mike Krzyzewski

06.27.11 7 years ago

As my fascination with the mental capacity of NBA general managers continues, Minnesota’s David Kahn has once again excelled beyond the wildest imaginable possibilities. It was only last week that he traded the No. 6 overall pick from the 2009 draft, point guard Jonny Flynn, for 35-year old arthritic bag of bones center Brad Miller*, and then drafted Derrick Williams with the second pick in this year’s draft after he failed to trade the pick (or Michael Beasley) to a team that actually needed a young power forward. And to top it all off with a pair of solid gold Truck Nutz, Kahn actually tried to hire Mike Krzyzewski.

Talk about a waste of time. Coach K once turned down a chance to go to the Lakers and coach Kobe Bryant in his prime. Did Kahn really think that he could get Krzyzewski to leave his Duke kingdom? He did.

“He tried to get him,” said one Kahn confidante.

Kahn was looking for a miracle or two. The other miracle is turning Ricky Rubio into a first-rate NBA point guard. As he showed over the last two seasons in Spain, the T-Wolves’ No. 1 draft pick of 2009 can’t shoot consistently or beat people off the dribble. That was versus inferior competition in Europe. Now he’s supposed to be able to do those things against the top players in the world? (New York Post)

To be clear, Rubio averaged 4.8 points in the Spanish ACB League this season, and a whopping 6.5 per game in Euroleague. Did anyone really have to think very hard about why Rubio decided he suddenly wanted to come to the NBA? I’ll give you a hint – it rhymes with GIANT PAYCHECK. Wait, I suck at hints. Kahn, of course, also tried to trade for Steve Nash so he could spend his final days in the NBA as a mentor to Rubio instead of trying to win his own elusive NBA title with a team not run by the winner of David Stern’s “So You Think You Can GM” contest.

Regardless, the comedy of Kahn calling Coach K to coach the Wolves is absolutely priceless. I can practically hear it now…

David Kahn: “Hello, Mike? This is David Kahn.”
Coach K: “Who?”
David Kahn: “This is David Kahn, GM of the Minnesota Timberwolves.”
Coach K: “The who of the what?”
David Kahn: “David Kahn, GM of the Minnesota Timberwolves. I’d like for you to become our new head coach and help develop Ricky Rubio into a top point guard.”
Coach K: “Go f*ck yourself, Roy.”

*And a future first-rounder, but I’m hoping for comedy’s sake that it ends up being a late, worthless pick.

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