Derek Jeter Announces (From Atop A Pile Of Money Surrounded By Many Beautiful Women) That The 2014 Season Will Be His Last

It’s about to be the end of an era, folks. The end of a few, honestly.

Via an extremely small font on his official Facebook page, New York Yankees captain and future Hall of Famer Derek Jeter announced that the upcoming 2014 Major League Baseball season would be his last. Jeet’s retiring in October, ending a 20-season career and the most legendary trail of beautiful women in pro sports history.

The announcement:

There’ll be time for tributes and retrospectives later, and we’ve got eight months to get ready for whatever abandonment issues and/or overwrought societal comparisons we need to have and make. Until then, let’s get ready for a hell of a 2014, and hope Jeter goes out with the same pomp and circumstance as Mariano Rivera. Let’s also hope that we never again see him and Alex Rodriguez in the same place at the same time.