11.28.06 12 years ago 8 Comments

Why Derek Jeter keeps having amazing things happen to him week in and week out while some people have to battle cancer or genocidal civil war is beyond me, but these are the kinds of things that God can answer, and He and I aren't exactly tight these days. 

Seriously, I'm getting sick of this asshole flaunting his pieces of ass in public all the time:

Jessica Biel and Derek Jeter, the newest hot couple, had a rendezvous in Las Vegas over the weekend… They later were seen at the Playboy Club and Moon nightclub in the Palms' Fantasy Tower. Spies also saw them playing blackjack Saturday at the MGM Grand.

Jeez, Las Vegas. I don't even want to think about the sullying of Biel's heaven-sent body that happened this weekend. I guess I can cross Jess off my list of fantasy girls.

You see, Las Vegas isn't a romantic getaway where you spend a lot of time looking into each other's eyes and holding each other after gently making love. Las Vegas is where you go to get drunk and do anal in the maid's closet on the 18th floor. (I doubt they're already at the stage where Jeet's bringing in the high-grade hooker as a third party. That's for next time.)

Maybe this is great if you're a Yankees fan, but if you're a Yankees fan you also like going to the Bronx, so your opinion is stupid anyway.

Around The Web