Before we begin, let’s be clear about something: Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the two nominees for the two major American political parties in the upcoming presidential election, would both be horrible UFC fighters. They’re both old guys who don’t seem particularly strong or fast or athletic, and it stands to reason that neither are trained in any mixed martial art. If you know Biden or Trump and can attest to them knowing Brazilian jiu-jitsu or something, please, reach out.
Anyway, now that the very obvious disclaimer is out of the way, Trump held a rally in Arizona on Wednesday, six days before Election Day 2020. We’ll move past everything from “this is assuredly in violation of CDC guidelines” to “he held one in Nebraska last night in which people were left outside to freeze and a few had to be hospitalized” so we can dive into one particular thing he said. Behold:
Trump says he asked UFC president Dana White if Joe Biden would be a good UFC fighter, and Biden definitely wouldn't be. "One gentle little touch to the face and he's down. He's down. He wouldn't get up very quickly either, would he?"
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) October 28, 2020
White is a well-documented Trump supporter, having giving a very public endorsement during the 2016 Republican National Convention. Having said this, it is unclear exactly how or why this conversation happened — it is, of course, an extremely Guy™ thing to muse about hypothetical fights. But it is, and I am editorializing here, very weird that one septuagenarian asked this about another septuagenarian. Also unclear: Was this asked through the lens of of Biden and Trump fighting, or is this Biden stepping into the Octagon against, like, Jon Jones and being asked to fend for himself?
If it was the latter, then yes, I agree wholeheartedly, Joe Biden would probably be in trouble. If it is the former, I cannot imagine that fight would be good at all, although it does bear mentioning that Biden once jokingly said he would challenge Trump to a push-up contest on stage if the president challenged the former vice president’s age or mental capacity to serve. Anyway, Election Day is in six days, and you can head to Vote.org for everything you might need as we approach next Tuesday.
