Don’t Do What Donny Dog Does

I’ve never been able to read British tabloids, between the lazy written-by-a-housewife headlines (“club blows whistle on saucy soccer mascot”) and the colloquialisms that sound like Mega Man weapons (“You got Lad Mag!”), but I translated this soccer scandal for you, and here’s what you need to know: This lady got fired from volunteer work as a mascot for getting Glamour Shots taken alongside her own head. Tracy Chandler, a 40-year-old hairdresser and mother of three, had been working for the last four years (without any sort of contract) as the Championship side Doncaster Rovers’ mascot “Donny Dog”, and they sacked her (British) for this picture in the Sunday Sport.

I’m all for keeping mascots as mascots and not breaking kayfabe (I don’t like it when mascots talk, and I still think Tom Burgoyne is just the Phillie Phanatic’s best friend), but is this the worst reason to get fired ever? From The Guardian:

Ms Chandler told BBC Five Live: “I’m absolutely devastated. I’ve not stopped crying all morning. It just said that they didn’t need my services any more and that I’d disgraced the club.”

She told the station she was “disgusted” by what has happened to her.

“I’ve raised a lot of money for charity. I’ve fetched Donny Dog out of hiding. I’m the one who pushed him into charity work.”

A spokesman for Doncaster Rovers said the club would not be commenting.

You’d think “hot MILF fired from job as man-dog for being hot” would be as weird and bad as this story gets, but it gets worse. Chandler says the picture was taken to help raise money for a child abuse charity, the NSPCC, the same organization her team raised money for last year when the entire squad posed naked for a cheesecake calendar. Do not watch the extremely NSFW video of that here Hopefully I don’t have to explain the concept of a double standard to you, and you aren’t the type who has already stopped reading and jumped down into the comments to make the “hot bitch” joke.

Note: Alternate titles for this post included “The Dog Days Are Over” and “Don Rovers, Don Rovers, Can Tracy Come Over”.

[h/t Dirty Tackle]

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