Duke Wins Insufferable Douche Lacrosse School Melee

06.01.10 9 years ago 8 Comments

The Duke lacrosse team finally learned how to rape on the field, as they penetrated Notre Dame to a 6-5 victory. When asked to comment, Duke fans popped all of the collars on the shirts they were wearing and started yelling about the car dealership their dad owns. The game went into overtime for the second year in a row, but was over quickly.

And then in five short seconds, CJ Costabile did what four years couldn’t do. The sophomore long pole won the opening faceoff in overtime, sprinted down the field and scored to give Duke a 6-5 victory over Notre Dame, its first lacrosse national championship and the ultimate cathartic moment. –ESPN

Lax bros from Cape Cod to Chevy Chase then proceeded to shotgun like 20 beers in an hour, bro, and totally railed out your girlfriend. The kegger they threw at Beau’s place was so awesome that every slam piece on campus came and got hot beef injections. The bros then kicked them out, smoked a bowl, and watched the first five seasons of Entourage. Ultimate lax bro Brantford Winstonworth gives his comments after the jump.

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