04.09.07 11 years ago 10 Comments

As the sharp-eyed Lieutenant Winslow noted today, last night wasn't a good night for pro athletes to hang out in South Beach.  Not only did the Heat's James Posey get a DUI

Posey displayed "bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and an odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath," the police report said. The player also was unsteady on his feet and swayed while standing, police said.

— but (much more hilariously) Florida Panthers goalie Ed Belfour may have had a liiiiiiiiiittle too much to drink.

Belfour pulled away from the officer trying to arrest him and grabbed his shirt. [He] then fell forward on the ground, kicking and refusing to place his hands behind his back, the report said. Belfour had slurred speech, blood shot eyes and smelled of alcohol, police said.

Furthermore, Belfour's teammate Ville ("mmm… veal") Peltonen "was charged with criminal mischief after he broke a metal pole off a fire rescue truck."

I see what's going on here.  Miami athletes are getting arrested in droves as some sort of nonviolent resistance to blogs making fun of them.  Drunk-driving, cop-punching, fire truck-breaking nonviolence.  Well, bring it on, Miami.  You may escape With Leather's acid tongue, but you'll be sorry when Officer Shaquille O'Neal comes around.

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