Enough Already, Charlie Sheen

The Arizona Diamondbacks let Charlie Sheen take batting practice prior to yesterday’s 5-3 win over the New York Mets, and while it’s bad enough that people continue to pay attention to his depressing antics, the reason that he was there is even worse – he’s trying to get into shape for Major League 4. And this isn’t one of those “I’m getting a show on HBO” rumors that he likes to make up. This is for real.

I had heard this rumor earlier in the year – that Sheen, Corbin Bernsen and even Wesley “I was too good for Major League 2 but Lord knows I need the money now” Snipes were on board for another installment, and even the first film’s writer and director, David S. Ward, was down. Apparently the plot will involve the Cleveland Indians signing a washed up, burn out Rick Vaughn to mentor a wild rookie, who may or may not be Wild Thing’s son. The only potential in this idea is to show Willie Mays Hayes as a universally-loathed HGH addict in denial. Other than that, no. Just no.

Even the gods have stepped in and showed their disapproval, as Sheen ruptured the ulnar nerve in his elbow during batting practice. And if that isn’t bad enough, even Juggalos hate Sheen. Seriously. Juggalos.