ESPN Made A Music Issue So Ryan Lochte Could Ruin Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’

As news leaked yesterday that ESPN had produced a music issue of the network’s magazine that will hit stands on Friday, the spectrum of reaction ran from “Oh God why?” to “Wait, music, huh?” And while I would totally be on board with ESPN the Magazine publishing an issue dedicated to professional athletes who have acted like musicians and vice versa, this is instead just an exercise in athletes dressing up to look like popular musicians. I know, I don’t really understand it either.

Included in the issue, which features LeBron James on the cover with Dr. Dre, is an interview with Jimmy Iovine, the man behind the Beats by Dre headphones. He claims that LeBron James is a better athlete now than he was four years ago because of those headphones. Seriously. Additionally, there’s also a feature on Seattle’s new superstar emcee, Macklemore, who our own Josh Kurp wrote about yesterday.

But the real fun is had with the athletes, and it starts with Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte recreating Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album cover.

So why on Earth is Lochte recreating this particular cover? You know, other than “He’s a swimmer.”

“If you look at the baby, he’s definitely happy in the water. And that’s what I am.”

Please tell me there’s more.

“And he’s chasing after a dollar, so he’s always grinding.”

Dear lord. So did it at least turn out okay?

Eh, not bad. Fortunately, ESPN also turned U.S. soccer star Alex Morgan into Katy Perry, so let’s look at that now instead.

Much better. In addition to Lochte and Morgan, ESPN also played dress-up with Josh Freeman as Michael Jackson, Jimmie Johnson as Bob Dylan, and Marshawn Lynch, Trent Richardson and LaMarr Woodley as Run DMC. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait another year to see Clay Matthews, AJ Hawk and Tim Lincecum as Hanson.