Everything’s Darker in Texas

Pro Wrestling Editor
06.21.11 6 Comments

Today (June 21) is the first official day of summer, and the Texas Rangers are commemorating that in the most reasonable way possible: by handing out 30,000 sunglasses to fans at today’s Rangers vs. Astros game in an attempt to set a new world’s record for “Most People Wearing Sunglasses … in the Dark.”

I didn’t add those ellipses, they were in the press release. I love that the PR department wanted to leave you hanging, like you’d read “most people wearing sunglasses” and pause, thinking to yourself, “but the record for most people wearing sunglasses is much larger than that!” because you know a lot about world records, but then you follow the dots and it says “IN THE DARK” and you go “Oooooh wow, okay!”

More important technical information from the press release:

“Rangers’ fans will be asked to don their sunglasses beginning at the end of the sixth inning and wear them for 10 minutes to become part of history and set the world record. … An adjudicator from Guinness World Records will be on site to officially confirm the record.”

I’m guessing this is in response to May’s similar world record setting when the Los Angeles Angles set the mark for “most moonlighting Dodgers fans in wrestling masks“. By making the fans wear sunglasses for ten minutes, Texas will also be setting the records for “most Rangers fans who can’t see as well as they could a minute ago” and “most people interested in something the Astros are doing”.

In a related story, singer Corey Hart has been calling the Rangers all day, but they aren’t answering.

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