02.23.08 10 years ago 3 Comments

Assistant Editor note: Actual excitement of news not guaranteed.

Wayne Huizenga has sold half of the Miami Dolphins (pending league approval) to the CEO of real estate developer for $550 million. Why? Apparently, Wayne is beginning to feel his age:

“We don’t need some old guy limping around here trying to run this franchise,” Huizenga said. “I’ve been in this business 18 years now. Pretty soon it’ll be 24, 25. It’s time for someone else to take over.” . . . Huizenga said he and Ross will be involved 50-50 in decisions. “It’s kind of like being married,” Huizenga said. “No, I take it back. It’s not at all like being married.”

It's better than being married because some schmuck actually paid you for half your shit, rather than just sleeping with you to get it. Or his definition of marriage and his lost time episodes might indicate old Wayne is beginning the slide into senility. Either way, there will be another person to help him eat his Jell-O. 

In other exciting Dolphins-related news, Zach Thomas is now a Cowboy. Presumably Thomas signed with Dallas to be closer to his car dealerships in Texas, or it could be because he comes from a family of Cowboy fans. Either way, when if he suffers a career-ending concussion, there will be somebody close by to help him eat his Jell-O. -KD     

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