02.06.08 10 years ago 14 Comments

Shoaib Malik is the captain of Pakistan's cricket team, which has to make him some huge celebrity, because the only thing in Pakistan bigger than cricket is plotting nuclear attacks on India.  So Malik is swimming in hot Muslim ankles, right?  Nope.  He met a chick on the Internet and allegedly married her over the phone.  And surprise!  Things didn't really work out.

Malik and his brother-in-law Imran told a news conference in Lahore on Tuesday that Malik had fallen in love with a girl over the internet and on the phone. "I was interested in marrying her after she told me she belonged to an Indian Muslim family in Hyderabad and sent me her pictures," Malik said.

Imran said, however, that they came to realise in 2005 that the girl in the photograph was not the daughter of the Indian family, the Siddiquis, whose daughter had in fact duped Malik on the internet into believing she was the girl in the picture…

[The girl's father] has threatened to move the court to get justice and a divorce for his daughter, who he says has been ill since Malik denied his relationship with her. Some school of thought of the Islamic Shariah laws recognise the exchange of marriage vows over the telephone.

In a related story, I have an ex-girlfriend I call "Lahore."  I'm pretty sure it's French for "the whore."  And it's a lot classier than that two-timing slut Carrie deserves.

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