Super Jealous Of FGCU, FIU Is Giving Itself A Basketball Makeover

Senior Writer
04.05.13 9 Comments

So this was pretty inevitable. After all, there’s nothing more petty and absurd than the jealousies of in-state college athletics. With Florida Gulf Coast University and Dunk City stealing all of the thunder of the state’s second and third tier basketball programs by becoming the first ever 15 seed to advance to the Sweet 16 at the NCAA Tournament, schools like Florida International University have to work a lot harder to get our attention, so naturally the first step was, “HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT OUR NEW COURT!”

As you can see above, FIU wants to remind everyone that the Golden Panthers play in Miami. That’s where the real beaches are, not at stupid FGCU, where the students pretend that a giant lake is their beach. Just how beachy is Miami? The Panthers have a beach on their new basketball court. But it doesn’t stop there, bottle poppers. No sir, FIU wants to give you the full Miami red carpet, velvet rope experience, so they’re adding some very special courtside seats.

My guess is they won’t stop with courtside beach cabanas either. Soon they’ll have Jennifer Lopez lookalikes serving $30 bottles of water at each section entrance, and the team’s new in-game announcer? You guessed it…

(Cabana pic via, Pitbull GIF via)

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