Florida Has Gone Too Far This Time

03.29.11 7 years ago 7 Comments

While Daytona Beach’s famous annual Bike Week took place earlier this month, the real biker party begins next week in kick ass Leesburg, Florida. The 2011 Leesburg Bikefest is set to rock your f*cking face off, as the Central Florida town will welcome its biker faithful from April 7-10, and the event organizers have even added an extra day this year for people to rev their engines and show off their “My bitch fell off” shirts. And forget Lollapalooza and Bonaroo this year, friends, because Leesburg Bikefest welcomes the music of Slaughter and Jackyl, as well as the ACDC tribute band Highway to Hell.

Alas, all is not well in Leesburg. As thousands of bikers will flock from minutes away for this celebration, the town’s leaders are putting a kibosh on one of Bikefest’s most time-honored traditions – pudding and Jello wrestling. Specifically, the city is banning all fighting competitions, which once again leaves my toddler fight club without a venue, but they made it a point to put the spotlight on women wrasslin’ in snack foods.

“We have had some odd events take place in the past. It’s simply not the kind of event we want to have at the Leesburg Bikefest,” Mayor David Knowles said.

“We’ve had a number of organizations come to Leesburg and look at Leesburg and say, ‘This is not really our kind of party place.’ And they go elsewhere,” Knowles explained.

“It may be an adult event, but it’s not an x-rated adult event,” Knowles said. (Via WFTV)

Look, I don’t know much about biker gangs outside of what I’ve learned from Sons of Anarchy and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, but if a motorcycle organization doesn’t want to visit your Bikefest because of something as harmless as two redneck girls smearing tapioca all over each other while guys named Jethro and Confederate Jim whistle through their teeth, then you don’t want them there anyway. Tell them to go to Bikefest in Montreal because they’re not Americans.

Now before you watch this promotional video for Leesburg Bikefest, I want you to crank up your speakers – especially if you’re at work – and rip the sleeves off your shirt, because you’re about to have your eyes opened, brother.

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