12.12.06 11 years ago 7 Comments

Yesterday, D.C. United traded 17-year-old phenom Freddy Adu to Real Salt Lake (Faux Salt Lake is down the street), and if Freddy didn't want to go to the English Premier League before, a few months in Utah should do it. There's, what? Twenty or so black people already living in Utah? The guys on the Jazz and their entourages, I think that's about it.

On the heels of the trade, we have a winner for the Self-Delusion Award: 

Salt Lake general manager Steve Pastorino said Real hopes getting Adu into a new environment will keep him happy and stateside. "Our intent is to keep him here for several years," Pastorino said.

Hmmm… London or Salt Lake City? Obscene amounts of money or the MLS? Yeah, Freddy'll be there for years, guy. Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you this house I'm selling. It's built on an Indian burial ground, so it's got like historical signficance or something. 

(The photo, by the way, is Freddy with pop starlet JoJo. She turns 16 in a week, which kills me. I have to wait another two years before it will finally be legal to masturbate to her.)

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