March Badassness: We’re Down To The Final Four In Our ‘Game Of Thrones’ Deathmatch Tournament

Contributing Writer
03.31.15 27 Comments


After a grueling series of weeks where characters fell like flies, we’re down to the Final Four of our Game of Thrones deathmatch tournament. In this latest round, underdog Viserys finally lost the favor of whatever dark god carried him this far, and both Varys and Jaime were betrayed by their fans. It was a tighter fight between Ygritte and Oberyn, but in the end, Ygritte prevailed setting up an all-female Knights vs. Warriors Regions Final. How progressive! Now, let’s get to the killing…

Royals Region

Stannis (90.91% / 1820 votes) vs. Viserys (9.09% / 182 votes)



Viserys stares in shock as his dragons take to the sky, disappearing off into the horizon. “You cannot defeat me,” Stannis says, his teeth clenched in determination. “My claim is soaked in the blood of kings and pretenders. Their life force gives me power beyond your imagination.” At that he motions to Melisandre, who pops a squat and fires a demon shadow killer straight through Viserys’ heart.

Lords Region

Arya (84.72% / 1580 votes) vs. Varys (15.28% / 285 votes)



“So, the pay is two silver stags a week, and you send reports back to me daily,” Varys says, holding up a coin. “I’m afraid I’m already making more than that,” Arya responds. “Can you imagine how much the Faceless Men charge to kill The Spider?” Varys leaps back with a grace belied by his size, but Arya is gone as quick as a shadow. The room is empty, except for him and the coin. The coin… Varys rubs his fingers and heads for his chest of antidotes. They find him slumped there the next morning with a single vial in his hand. A vial that has had its antidote replaced by poison.

Knights Region

Brienne (73.7% / 1435 votes) vs. Jaime (26.3 / 512 votes)



Jaime and Brienne shudder as they climax together in a sweaty naked pile. Jaime runs his golden hand through Brienne’s hair as she wraps her strong arms around him, pulling him to her, deeper into her. Suddenly, the door to their chambers bursts open, and the Brotherhood Without Banners storms in, ripping the two apart and dragging Jaime from the room. A hooded woman enters and watches Brienne sob with cold, dead eyes as Jaime is hung like a common criminal in the courtyard. “Brienne, why?!?” he screams, just before the rope lifts him off the ground and his cries turn to gurgles. “You wouldn’t understand,” she whispers in agony. “It’s a book thing.”

Warriors Region

Ygritte (63.16% / 1896 votes) vs. Oberyn (36.84% / 1106 votes)



“You aren’t going to kill me after I showed you what a true lord’s kiss was, would you?” Oberyn asked softly as Ygritte nooks an arrow. Ygritte looks at Oberyn, a tortured expression on her face as the rain falls on them both. Then determination sets in and she looses her shaft, the arrow passing through Oberyn as easily as it might a piece of silk. “You know nothing, Oberyn Martell,” she says with a twinge of regret in her voice. Then she motions to Ellaria Sand, and the two mount a horse and ride off into the night.

Final Four Voting







Final Four voting lasts until Friday morning on April 3 when the field will be cut down to two. We will open voting up immediately after for the finals, with the whole thing ending alongside the real March Madness on Monday April 6.

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