Great, Now He’s Got Pink Eye

01.04.12 7 years ago 6 Comments

I had no idea that soccer EMTs having no idea how to operate a stretcher and lifting dudes into their own asses was an epidemic, but apparently it has happened before and Confianca player “Arthur” is its latest victim.

Our friends at Dirty Tackle do a fine job of recapping the event. All I could do was mutter “the horror … the horror” and sink back into jungle darkness.

the last thing Arthur needed was to be tossed onto a stretcher and then lifted directly into the taint of another human being. But that’s exactly what he got.

A few suggestions:

1. Don’t employ toothless gentlemen as members of your medical team.

2. Make the handles on your stretchers longer.

3. If you get hit in the face during a soccer game, walk away and do not make people carry you off on a stretcher.

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