Grumpy Jim Bunning Throws Inside At Stephen Strasburg

07.29.10 8 years ago 8 Comments

"How does it feel to know I'm staring straight into your soul?"

Hall-of-fame pitching legend for the Phillies and resident curmudgeon of the Kentucky Senate Jim Bunning took enough time off from his never ending schedule of applying Bengay to rip Nationals demigod Stephen Strasburg a new orifice for landing on the DL after a tiny bout of shoulder inflammation that scratched him from his start last night. The 78-year-old Bunning was once one of the best pitchers of his era but is now mostly known for being an angry conservative with a keen ability for guarding the sanctity of ‘Senator only elevators

Complain about how hard it is to see those tiny cell phone numbers with us, Jimmy:

“Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball,” Bunning, a Kentucky senator who hurled a perfect game in 1964 and struck out 2,855 batters in his Major League career. “What a joke!”

Bunning had taken an interest in Strasburg, who like the Kentucky senator is a fire-ball hurling right-hander. The senator has seen the Nationals ace four times and was at the ballpark Tuesday night, he said. But he clearly didn’t like what he saw – or rather didn’t see – when the youngster didn’t take the mound.

“My arm!” Bunning sarcastically cried as he pretended to clutch his shoulder in the Capitol’s Statuary Hall. -Politico

My opinion? Bunning should stick to what aging republicans do best, which is shooting fellow old people with birdshot on quail hunts to help thin out the herd in this already overpopulated land. It’s the Lord’s work, and I can’t wait until I’m old enough to get away with doing it because I’ve already got the person I want to shoot all picked out.

More like Baby, baby, baby OWWWW, amirite?

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