FlipBoardWhen trusty reader Cory sent me this trailer, I refused to believe it was for a real movie. Every line in the voiceover is too hilariously over-the-top to not be tongue-in-cheek. But no. Friends and sexy readers, I assure you, Gymkata is very, very real.
UPDATE: I guess some of you ultra-cool people have heard of every movie ever made. Well, some of us grew up on Air Force bases, where the base theater only played one movie, and it was whatever big film came out six weeks ago. Sorry if my dad dedicating two decades of his life to serving his country has ruined your blog experience today. Asses.
This post guest-written by Peter King.
So, you’re saying there are no more original ideas in Hollywood (TripleX, I’m looking at you)?
Yeah that’s a pommel horse in the middle of the atrium, what of it?
P.S. Bill Simmons is very disappointed that this is the first you’ve heard of Gymkata.
What was that pommelhorse doing in on a mountain? I LOVE this movie!!!!
Um, 1985. Wanna see that again? 1985. If I see a post about “American Anthem”, I’m cracking skulls (that’s from a movie from 1985 as well).
P.S. Bill Simmons is very disappointed that this is the first you’ve heard of Gymkata.
Fuck Bill Simmons. I’m disappointed. Next you’ll tell me you’ve just heard of this Jean-Claude Van Something guy.
Jesus. I don’t even know who you are anymore, Caveman.
Sadly, I can’t view video at the office, but I’m sure this movie is no American Anthem because Kurt Thomas is certainly no Mitch Gaylord.
And, Thomas, American Anthem is from 1986, thank you very much.
“Sorry if my dad dedicating two decades of his life to serving his country has ruined your blog experience today. Asses.”
Apology accepted.
If you remember 1985, you weren’t really there.
just don’t let it happen again
How many “Thomas Flairs” did he do in the entire movie??
Also, since I was in 1985, and slightly remember it, I’ll take American Anthem over Gymkata any day…for 2 reasons 1) Janet Jones left boob and 2) Janet Jones right boob… Wanna Bet???
I was only two, I missed a lot of shit.
When Gymnastics and Sex are fused, a new kind of super pornstar is Born…: Bukkake!
Sorry Jack….I was in the 8th grade…I was just starting the Spank Bank….and A.A. ran on HBO about every 2 days that summer….
I’m with you on this (Army base)…I know the pain of not knowing…
LCPL, nice work on bringing bukkake to the table.
tone, nice work on playing nice with the boss after that golden shower mix up.
Edit out the wheelchair bound keyboardist/composer from American Anthem and you’ve got a pretty sweet movie
[www.youtube.com]
Smello, the quote the “cracking skulls” reference is from the 1985 flick. I should have been a tad more verbose.
I actually wrote a short story about Gymkata when I was but a tyke…never saw it, but was quite taken by the name. I can’t tell you how many memories just flooded over me. I’m young again.
By the way, one of the American Ninja movies has poon in it.
LCPL: bringing bukkake to the table since 2007!!! I’m putting that on my business cards…. Thanx Tim…
It’s a little late for this joke, but is anyone else stunned that our fighting men and women are sent into battle with out a complete understanding of Gymkata?
Ah yes, sorry Thomas. I was too distracted by fond memories of a shirtless Mitch Gaylord to read your comment properly.
There’s a great review over at [www.i-mockery.com]
I’m surprised no one commented on how common it is for “3 time world gymnastics champions” to be homosexuals, thereby rendering Thomas’ makeout scene with knife-weilding ho both confusing and utterly wrong. Also, you can’t help but wonder what it really means for him to “penetrate a mountain fortress…”
No need apologizing for your old man being a tool.
Some people’s dads are alcoholics, some are violent wife beaters… yours was a killer for hire.
And not even those cool ones like you see in the movies. Just some grunt whose other option was working at Mickey D’s.
Bummer.