Just as much as franchise players suffering serious injuries, the season premiere of HBO’s Hard Knocks, which airs Tuesday night at 10 p.m. ET, is one of those unmistakable signs that football season is finally upon us. The show might have lost some of its luster since it debuted 14 years ago, but it’s still far more worthwhile than the vast majority of TV shows that are about football without actually being football. This year, the Houston Texans are going under the microscope, which means we’ll be treated to more of J.J. Watt being a cyborg or a cuddly teddy bear, among other storylines.
But the pre-fabricated storylines are hardly ever the most interesting part of any Hard Knocks season. Far more often, what keeps us coming back is the unexpected… the weird habits, senses of humor, behind-the-scenes access, and rampant profanity that get filtered out on basic cable or network appearances. That’s what we remember, and these are the best examples.
“Let’s go eat a goddamn snack.”
You’ve probably seen this speech a couple of times, but man, if it isn’t one of the most motivating speeches I’ve ever… Wait, did he just close with, “Let’s go eat a goddamn snack?” Was that supposed to be dramatic? Did he forget what he was talking about and get hungry? I like that thought.
“And we’re gonna dominate the opponent at the point of attack, no matter how many blitzers they send, or free refills they give us. We will impose our will on the buffet, and… God, is anyone else hungry?”
Also, he uses the insult “slapdick,” which I’m pretty sure I never heard before he said it. It’s a delightful insult.