05.29.08 10 years ago 26 Comments

A New York hedge fund manager testified in court today at the bizarre assault case in which he was the victim.  Stuart Sugarman, 48, was attacked by 44-year-old stockbroker Christopher Carter during a spinning class at an Equinox gym on Manhattan's Upper East Side.  The reason: Sugarman grunted loudly and yelled things like "Good burn!" and "You go, girl!" throughout the class. From the New York Post:

Both sides agree that Sugarman was loud – even [the instructor] testified that Sugarman is the loudest "spinner" he's ever heard in some 1,700 workouts. But opinions differed yesterday on what happened as the hedge-funder's howling drove the berserk broker off his bike.

"He yelled at me to shut the 'F' up," Sugarman told jurors… "Like, at that point, my reaction was, like, 'You're kidding me, right?' " Sugarman [said], insisting that he himself never cursed, never flipped the broker the bird, and did absolutely nothing provocative.

This, despite cop testimony that Sugarman admitted giving Carter the finger and cursing, and testimony by another "spinner" that when Carter shouted, "Shut up," Sugarman taunted, "Make me."

This was a long story, so let me sum it up for you: Asshole hedge fund manager in asshole neighborhood acts like asshole in asshole gym, so asshole stockbroker kicks his ass.  I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the jury won't have to worry about sympathy getting in the way of their verdict.

(thanks to Upstate Underdog) 

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