Here’s ‘How To Fight A Baby,’ The Citizen Kane Of Internet Outrage Videos

You guys know I get all flustered and outraged by everything that happens on the Internet, right? Racism, sexism, homophobia, Kate Upton shaming, all of it. Just sends me into a furious-typing tizzy.

Here’s one thing I am not outraged by on the Internet: a guy uploading a video of him playing with a baby and joking about how he’s kicking its ass.

Here’s ‘How To Fight A Baby,’ quite possibly the sweetest of all the things we’re gonna get pissed about this week, wherein a man shows you … well, how to fight a baby. He strangles it (not really), gives it a rear naked choke (not really) and brutally slams it down. Onto a bed! All while the baby cackles with delight, which is usually the sign that a baby is in pain. Basically the worst thing he does is blow in the baby’s face against its will, which my cat HATES.

Watch this and type the biggest, most spirited paragraph you can:

Study questions:

[h/t to Bob’s]