A Hockey Player Got Suspended, Then Fired For Trying To Gouge Out His Opponent’s Eyeballs

So this is pretty horrifying.

Derek Campbell of the Elite Ice Hockey League’s Hull Stingrays was hit against the boards by a Dundee Stars player — you know, because they were playing a hockey game — and his reaction was to FLIP THE HELL OUT, try to crush the Stars player’s head and then tear out his eyeballs. Yep. Campbell got hit with a 47-game ban for the attack, and then after a hot minute his team went, “yeah, no,” and just released him.

Here’s a breakdown of the penalties involved for attempted murder, and a stunning 240p video of the assault.

From the YouTube description:

As you can see in the video, Campbell was pissed after getting smushed behind the net. He was immediately ejected from the game for excessive rough play. Campbell’s 47-game suspension adds up as 12 10 for a knee to the head, 12 for eye-gouging—apparently, there’s a specific violation for that—and 10 for excessive force to the head. The other 15 games comes fighting in a separate incident off of the ice.

The funniest part is “as you can see in the video,” because it was recorded with a can opener and uploaded with an abacus so you can’t see anything.