Holler We Want Pre-Nups!

It has been just over 8 years since Katelyn Faber accused Kobe Bryant of sexual assault. That’s important to note because even despite her husband admitting to having an affair with Faber while denying that he raped her, Vanessa Bryant stood by her man. Kobe paid Faber off, even after she refused to testify, and then we went to Jared’s and bought Vanessa a rock so big that her ring finger needed a personal assistant.
So 8 years later, they’re getting divorced. That begs the question – what the hell could be so much worse than being accused of anal rape that could lead to divorce now?

† Kobe’s latest extra-marital affair was so blatant, the couple’s daughters were said to be in the woman’s presence on a number of occasions and were fully aware their dad was cheating on their mother.
† And the Lakers superstar’s wife learned that Kobe’s many promises to “never do that again” were just a bunch of hooey, and that he laughed off his apologies to her in conversations with his closest friends.
(Via the Chicago Sun-Times)

Hooey, I tell you! Hooey! What else is Hooey? Being worth $300 million and not having a pre-nup. Have we learned nothing from Tiger Woods?
Once again, I will gladly remind all of you aspiring athletes and celebrities that if you’re thinking about getting married, take a good, long, hard look at Kobe and Tiger. Then take one simple glance at Derek Jeter. Then sign a few balls and throw them in the backseat of your car.
After the jump, we remember the Bryants’ marriage. I feel it is best viewed while listening to the greatest love song ever written (with apologies to Tesla).