“I’m Still The Toughest S.O.B Around”

07.05.10 9 years ago 4 Comments

Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin went to fisticuffs to determine the UFC Heavyweight Champion Saturday night, which will go down in history as an awesome fight between two very scary men. Lesnar was able to survive a barrage of punches from Carwin in the first round and despite having a bloody face, Lesnar won the match in the second. Lesnar forced a tap out by way of a choke-hold that would shatter the average man’s vertebrae like a piece of fine China.

After a dramatic come-from-behind victory over interim title holder Shane Carwin at UFC 116, undisputed heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar reiterated what most inside the MGM Grand Garden Arena were forced to admit, that Brock Lesnar is THE BADDEST MAN ALIVE.

The highly anticipated showdown was dubbed “the biggest heavyweight battle in history” and the behemoths didn’t disappoint. Despite threatening a southpaw attack to bolster his shots, Lesnar opted to stand toe-to-toe with Carwin and ultimately ate an uppercut in the opening ticks for his troubles.

Despite entering the 2ndRound with a bloodied and battered face, the former Division I All-American collegiate wrestler put Carwin on his back and landed in half-guard. In another dramatic turn of events, Lesnar opted to pass on securing a dominant full-mount position. Instead, the crafty-one took side-mount in order to end their heavyweight unification bout with an arm triangle choke at 2:19 in the 2ndRound. –5thround

I’ve never been more than a casual follower of UFC, but man those guys are scary. Bad Idea Jeans could do a whole ad campaign with anyone who would challenge either of these guys as the poster child. Carwin, who had never had a match go past the first round, is a terrifying individual in his own right. HOWEVAH, it was Lesnar’s night to shine. Despite giving credit to his support staff, Lesnar made sure everyone knew who was the Big Man of the Octagon.

“I am blessed by God. I stand before you a humble champion and I’m still the toughest S.O.B. around, baby,” Lesnar sheepishly said.

It was Lesnar’s first professional fight in 12 months due to a life-threatening bout with diverticulitis. On Saturday night, he rose from the ashes like a Phoenix and silenced his detractors. –5thround

Lesnar did a good job of living up to the post-game interview standard set by Ron Artest. Lesnar could give Tiger notes about how to come back from a prolonged absence. While he’s doing that, I’d love to see him become Tiger’s swagger coach. Affliction and Ed Hardy would give Tiger a ton of money because of his many mistresses, and would find a way to replace his Sunday red and black combination with something more stupid.

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