Important News: What Does Michael Jordan Think About Tiger Woods?

08.01.11 8 years ago 2 Comments

“I think he’s waiting to explode again,” said Jordan told the Herald Sun.


Then I’m pretty sure he compares Tiger Woods’ career to dog fighting.

“A wounded dog has a tough time trying to keep winning battles.

“And because the battle was a lot tougher than I thought even Tiger realized a while ago, he needs to heal before he gets back into these battles again.”

And this is only the beginning of Michael Jordan’s in-depth analysis of Tiger Woods and what it will take for the guy who slept with 40,000 porn stars and felt bad about it to get back on top in the world of golf. The short version is the one anyone could’ve told you — if Tiger wants to be good again he needs to get healthy, clear his mind of all these off-screen troubles and focus on playing a game he naturally plays better than anyone. The long version (available at the Herald Sun) is that Michael Jordan has gone through similar troubles, so here are ten paragraphs of rambling monologue that boil down to “he needs to get well and pay attention”.

And also, uh, he’s a wounded dog who fought battles and needs to explode. Seriously, is there a situation in 2011 where a dog has battles? Is this another one of those “Hitler mustache” situations where Jordan just does or says something and hasn’t lived in the real world in like 30 years so he can’t be held to any observed ethical or logical community standards? I’m going to cut the jokes and type an extremely serious sentence: Tiger Woods needs to get over the self-pity party and either play golf or sit the f**k at home in his Magical Golf House and be half-rich. Your leg hurts and you had a bunch of sex, I’m not rooting for you to overcome those odds.

[h/t Devil Ball Golf]

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