In Your Face, Stupid Wisconsin Deer

Senior Writer
11.23.10 5 Comments

Saturday marked the opening of Wisconsin’s nine-day gun season for deer hunting, and despite serious concern from hunters over last year’s poor numbers, business is a little better this time around. Hunters killed 106,404 deer over the weekend, marking an increase of 6 percent from 2009’s piss poor body count of only 100,330 deer. Get your sh*t together, Wisconsin deer!

But the big winner of Saturday’s opening was 16-year old Corissa Wege, who bagged herself three deer, including 13-, 10- and 8-pointers. According to Wisconsin Outdoor Fun (what, you don’t subscribe?), Wege called the experience “really cool” to which her boyfriend added, “Yes… cool… very cool. I can’t wait to be faithful for the rest of my life. I LOVE YOU, HONEY!”

Hey Wisconsin, only 100,000 deer? That seems pretty weak, ya sissies…

The DNR went into the 2010 hunt under intense pressure from hunters and state lawmakers to deliver a better hunt than last year. Hunters in 2009 killed only 241,862 deer, down about 30 percent from the year before and down 54 percent from 2000.

Hunters complained loudly last winter that the DNR has grossly overestimated the size of the herd for years. (Via Wisconsin Outdoor Fun)

It’s fun to imagine a large group of hunters screaming outside of the Department of Natural Resources office that they don’t have enough animals to kill. Mainly because they should be home preparing breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, dinsnack, snack, and second dinner for their Wisconsin wives, lest they suffer the rage. By the way, I’m no hunting expert – I’m also no opponent of killing an animal for sport, I just prefer to kill them with a fork and eat them on the spot – but it just seems like killing hundreds of thousands of deer annually and then complaining that there are fewer the next year is just a little… odd. But don’t shoot the messenger. Especially you, Corissa.

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