04.15.09 10 years ago 5 Comments

UPDATE: ESPN is reporting that Thomas will work next season for free. Florida International still overpaid.

Florida International University’s AD Pete Garcia must have allowed himself to be photographed having gay sex in a children’s library with Satan, because that’s the only reason I can muster for his hiring of Isiah Thomas. To coach their basketball team. Not like make copies or fetch coffee or anything, because even that seems out of the man’s skill range.

“Coming back to the college game has always been a dream of mine, and I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to go somewhere where we can build a basketball legacy together,” Thomas said in a statement.

A beautiful basketball legacy of failure, to be specific. Pete Garcia, I thank you, sir. You’ve just made my job a lot easier come this winter. As for now, I’m at a total loss. Probably because my brain just exploded.

|GameOn| Orig. run 4/14/09

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