02.15.07 11 years ago 4 Comments

Michael Jackson wanted front-row tickets to the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas, which is where he's been molesting children living recently. Surprisingly enough, the NBA isn't interested in giving tickets to goddam carnival freaks, no matter how many records they sold when they were black.

A well-placed source says Wacko Jacko waited too long to call for tickets – the front-row seats had already been promised to Jack Nicholson, Christina Aguilera, Jay-Z, Diddy, Nelly and Adam Sandler. "The tickets he wants are not available at this time," said our insider.

Yes, "not available at this time" — meaning 2007. If it were 1985 Jacko would be in there like swim wear. Better luck next time, Mike. Call us in negative-25 years, we'll put you courtside.

NOTE: Want nightmares? Do a Google Image Search of Michael Jackson. I've lost three pounds of water weight in five minutes with these cold sweats.

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