Jameis Winston May Have Shattered All Of Our Funny Bones Reading This Letterman Top 10

Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Jameis Winston is walking the deep, sandy footsteps of Johnny Football right now as he goes from show to show popping in to say, “I am a notable college football type” and participate in some light discussion or comedy. Here, Winston gets to participate in the lightest comedy of all: David Letterman’s Top 10 List.

Your topic: Unusual things to hear in a huddle.

Here’s the actual top 10 …

10. Is this about football?
9. One of their guys is shoving me.
8. Who’s wearing perfume?
7. Let’s win this for Kim Jong-un’s uncle!
6. Is anybody here a notary public?
5. Hey – We match!
4. Ugh – Grass stains.
3. Guys, I’d rather be alone right now.
2. Crap, wrong team.
1. How many of you guys won the Heisman?

… and an equally-funny top 10 I made up in 30 seconds before posting this despite not being a highly-paid television writer.

10. Football! Whoops I meant baseball!
9. Somebody farted it smells like!
8. Are any of you guys Tim Tebow? Get it?
7. Miley Cyrus Twerking
6. Oh no somebody tackled off my leg.
5. What does the fox say? Football!
4. Can somebody hold my soda?
2. I bet you wish you’d also won the Heisman trophy like I just did
1. Bababooey bababooey!

I will accept your writing gigs, please e-mail me at our tip line with the headline “David Letterman job (real).”

[h/t to GamedayR]