Jay Cutler Is Getting Married

Bad news for sorority girls everywhere – everybody’s favorite brah-diddy Jay Cutler is getting married. The Chicago Bears quarterback, who rose to fame during the NFL playoffs earlier this year by playing through a sprained MCL to fall just short of the Super Bowl, proposed to his girlfriend Kristin Cavallari, who is an internationally-renowned fashion icon rising to fame through hard work, talent and dedication.

Hold on, my trusty falcon, Serge, has just returned from fetching my daily news and he has informed me that neither of those descriptions are true. Oh well. So how did it happen, People?

“He surprised her with a quick trip to Cabo to ask her to marry him,” the source says.

“I’m in love,” she told PEOPLE earlier this year, “and it’s been great.”

Meanwhile, E! is taking full credit for this blessed union as only E! can.

It turns out Jay is friends with Chicago native Bill Rancic and our own Giuliana Rancic, who introduced him to Kristin.

The newly betrothed twosome first met at a Chicago Bears game in August and hit it off immediately. After they began dating, Kristin soon introduced Jay to her mom.

I was also told that Jay really set the romantic mood for Kristin in Cabo. He brought her right down to the beach for a romantic sunset dinner, as he had covered the gorgeous white sand with a mixture of red, pink, purple and white rose petals and surrounded their table for two with white candles of varying sizes. Off to the side, two elderly Mexican men, both named Esteban, serenaded the couple with love songs as old as the emotion itself. Then Jay removed a small black box from his pocket and he lowered himself to one knee…

And he immediately took himself out and had Caleb Hanie finish the proposal for him.

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