Jay-Z Can Finally Attend Kim Kardashian’s Wedding, But He Probably Won’t

08.18.11 7 years ago 2 Comments

While it’s no surprise that the NBA could be so generous, league officials have granted permission for New Jersey Nets personnel to attend this Saturday’s wedding of Kim Kardashian and Nets forward Kris Humphries, according to the Associated Press. The league previously did the same thing for Chris Bosh, so it really isn’t a big deal that Nets owners Mikhail Prokorov and Jay-Z, as well as GM Billy King and anyone else deemed brave enough to stand between a wedding cake and Khloe Kardashian, would be able to attend.

Except that Humphries is a free agent and this could give the Nets an unfair advantage at re-signing him when the league eventually ends the lockout in the next 200 months or so. Some media outlets have suggested that Humphries’ career 5.6 ppg and 4.7 rpg could be a good value on the open market before next season, and it should be pointed out that the teams that think like that are the reason that we’re in this mess.

A few other notes to show you what Humphries has gotten himself into, and could have escaped if he had just let Reggie Bush steal his woman back…

– The cake that Kardashian and Humphries will be cutting at their wedding is an exact replica of the cake that was featured at the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Unfortunately, none of Kardashian’s sisters are replicas of Pippa Middleton.

– The newlyweds will be delaying their honeymoon until next summer because Kim and her sister Kourtney will be filming season two of “Kim and Kourtney Take New York,” because life isn’t fair. But this is good news for Humphries, who is basically on an extended vacation anyway, because it means their marriage has to last at least a year so the honeymoon can coincide with the filming of the next season of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” How do I know this stuff so well, you ask? I live with my girlfriend.

So best of luck to Humphries, who can look forward to a lifetime of this:

Also, I just wanted to throw this picture from the VH1 Do Something Awards to point out that nobody did something:

That guy on the left, he gets it.

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