Sweet mother of mercy! Bridget Moynihan is STILL pregnant? I thought she gave birth like two years ago.
My mind is still reeling from the notion that her uterus hasn't split yet, so I'm just gonna go with what I wrote back in April:
This baby is gonna be a fucking giant. It's gonna come out in a suit of armor or something. She better pray for a C-section or she's just going to split in two during delivery. "Congratulations, ma'am, your baby is three-foot-six and weighs 65 pounds." And the kid'll be like, "Hey, ma, got a smoke?"
I understand Tom Brady is a big dude, but there's no way that's his baby. The father has gotta be Galactus, eater of worlds — which suddenly gives the Brady-Galactus "Who's Now?" battle so much more meaning.
Seriously, though: Bridget Moynihan is gonna get eaten alive by whatever that is inside her. It's too late for her, save yourselves!
[Thanks to reader Jeff; also, TMZ has the bigger, undoctored picture. Treat it like the sun: don't look directly at it.]