Jim Hendry Leaves At The Top Of His Game

Pro Wrestling Editor
08.19.11 6 Comments

Chicago Cubs fans didn’t like Jim Hendry as their vice president or general manager. That’s a pretty standard response, though — nobody likes the people in charge of their team. Rangers fans, maybe. As an Indians fan I think Mark Shapiro is probably a nice guy with the team’s best interest at heart, and I would attack him with my bare hands if I saw him ten feet in front of me. General consensus states that Hendry is a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to kiss his own butt. Finally, after almost two decades, the Cubs agree. Especially the part about his butt.

From the Chicago Tribute:

Jim Hendry is out as general manager of the Chicago Cubs and assistant GM Randy Bush will take over the job on an interim basis, the team said Friday.

“It’s professional baseball … if you don’t win enough games over a couple of years, you can’t fight change,” Hendry said in an emotional news conference at Wrigley Field. “We’re here to win games, and in the last couple of years, we didn’t win enough … I will leave here with nothing but gratefulness for being part of this organization for 17 years. Not many people get a chance to do that.”

Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts notified him July 22 that he wouldn’t be retained, taking the opportunity to blame Hendry on the way out: one factor in deciding not to trade away veteran players at the deadline was the GM firing, as those decisions “should be left to his successor”. Sure! In case you don’t believe the “it’s just business, I didn’t win x-amount of baseball games” excuse, allow Ricketts to reassure you.

“We just didn’t win enough games,” Ricketts said, echoing Hendry. “Nothing should diminish Jim’s tenure here. We won three division titles while he was here. … Jim is truly a first-class individual and we’ll all miss seeing him here in the office.”

He went on to say he thought now was the “time to move on”, providing the most wonderfully middle-management-sounding firing in pro sports history. “Jim Hendry did absolutely nothing wrong and everyone loved him, but because of something vague over here we’re all going to pleasantly agree that he should never work here again.” I guess you can’t put “we’re awful and probably need to start firing the people who made us that way” in a press statement.

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