JOAKIM NOAH IS A BAD DOG

01.20.08 10 years ago 4 Comments

Chicago Bulls coach Jim "Rockford" Boylan addressed Joakim Noah's two-game suspension and argument with Ben Wallace thusly:

"To me, Joakim and his personality is a positive to our team. To me, he's just like a puppy. You get your puppy, you pet him, you play with him, he's fun," Boylan said. "And you wake up the next day and he ate your best pair of shoes and you have to deal with that. After you deal with that, he's still your puppy, you love him and that's the way he is," he said. "We are family here. There's always going to be spats, conflicts, it's only natural. I think it'll only bring us closer."

Now, don't get me wrong, Joakim Noah is very annoying, but the Bulls sucking is not his fault. Old dudes are always blaming dogs for their problems. I was fortunate enough to reside at a men's hotel for a while, and all the older denizens with incontinence issues would buy puppies so they could blame the dogs for the smell in their rooms. One especially senile man constantly blamed his puppy, would lose his dog, and would have to buy a new one. He was cool though – he made this awesome hot plate stew. Did I mention he was Korean? -KD

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