Joe Girardi Got Fired

10.03.06 11 years ago

Northwestern alum Joe Girardi got fired for having the gall to politely confront Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria two months ago. And it's about time, I say. I don't care if you start 8 rookies, and your team's payroll is 7% of the Yankees' payroll, then you miraculously get 78 wins out of the team while it vies for a playoff spot. You don't disrespect a team's owner. Rich assholes have feelings too!

Just kidding. Marlins fans — if such a group of people exists — should hunt Loria down and flatten his testicles with meat tenderizers. And dig out his eyes with claw hammers. And beat him with aluminum bats until his skin splits and his ruptured internal organs spill out on the street.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here. That guy really is a fuckhead and deserves to die. How does a thin-skinned, tight-fisted asshole get rich enough to own a baseball team in the first place? Because I've tried that method, and I'm not rich at all. I still have to mix my Thunderbird with bleach just to make it last an extra night.

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