Jose Canseco Is Just Like Captain America, Says Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco is somewhere between the Iron Sheik and Tommy Wiseau on the “crazy for attention or legitimately crazy” flow chart, but he’s practically synonymous with the word “steroids,” so he’s a solid person to ask about Major League Baseball’s ongoing PED struggles.

On Monday night, Jose expressed the woefully-undermentioned “steroids are great, shut up” side of the argument with a series of tweets that … well, they almost make a good point, but are more about the ridiculous double standards in the Marvel Comics universe than the ones in ours. Although now that I’ve typed that out, there’s a chance Jose Canseco thinks he LIVES in the Marvel universe. Think about it. If you woke up one morning and the cover of Sports Illustrated read JOSE CANSECO REVEALED AS MOON NIGHT with a big picture of him dressed as the goddamn Moon Knight, would you be shocked?

Anyway, here’s (1) Jose’s argument (2) a great way to introduce guys at Comic-Con to sports.

At this point Jose is dangerously close to making a legitimate point, so he just reiterates the first tweet to make sure everybody saw it.

And then, the pièce de résistance:

There you have it, folks … a guy who takes drugs to be better at baseball = a guy who submits himself to experimental military testing because Adolf Hitler is trying to take over the world and needs to get punched in the face by a guy dressed as America.

While you ponder how sadly World War II would’ve ended if Cap had been the same dude who once lost a foxy boxing match to a 60-year old, please enjoy Jose’s follow-up notion, which is equally as absurd and pressing: