Justice Is Served: Ryan Braun Left Out Of 2013 ‘Nice Jewish Guys’ Calendar

Last year, Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun tested positive for an abnormally high level of testosterone and he was subsequently suspended for 50 games under Major League Baseball’s strict PED policies. But then a funny thing happened along the way to the laboratory – Braun’s urine samples were mishandled, rendering the league’s entire case against him moot on a technicality, and Braun’s suspension was lifted. The system that commissioner Bud Selig has relied on heavily to bandage the deep wounds of public perception caused by decades of drug abuse and league indifference had been defeated.
We’ll never know whether or not Braun was actually guilty of using PEDs, because if he did, then he’d presumably be wise enough to never use them again; if he didn’t, then obviously he wouldn’t suddenly start using them. But sports fans don’t operate under the same “innocent until proven guilty” mentality that supposedly serves as the core of the American justice system. Brewers fans continue to stand behind their star slugger, while non-Brewers fans will always label Braun a juicer.
And yes, there is no point in this recap of Braun’s tainted 2012, other than I really wanted to post this “Nice Jewish Guys” calendar and Braun’s the first guy I think of when someone mentions Jewish athletes. It used to be Robbie Gould, but it turns out that he’s not Jewish. I lost so many good jokes because of that revelation.
While it’s no Sexy Football Managers, and certainly not a Kelly Brook celebration of cleavage, “Nice Jewish Guys” is one of the more enjoyable novelty calendars you’ll see this week. At least your mother will like it.