05.02.08 10 years ago 21 Comments

The Kentucky Derby is this weekend, and as the premier event in its sport, I am obligated to give it a few minutes of my attention.  Because even though I hate horses — NICE SHOES, ASSHOLE — I absolutely love gambling, so horse racing is okay in my book.

Since I don't know dick about horses (except, of course, horse dick), I'll point out others who have tried their hand at talking about this: Dan Shanoff addressed the contenders in this morning's Wake-Up Call, while some cat at Hugging Harold Reynolds at least sounds like he knows what he's talking about.  However, the best entry today comes from FanIQ, which compiled a list of the best racehorse names that somehow got approval from The Jockey Club.  Here's a little tease, with the full list after the jump:

Cum Rocket (1969)
Nut Buster (1942)
No Fat Chicks (1988)
Blow Me (1945)

Girls On Top (2004)
Get It On (both 1971 and 1986)
On Your Knees (1977 and 2005)
Spank It (1985) Go Down (1963), whose sire was Service
Jail Bait (1947 and 1983)
Alcohol Related (2000)
Lagnaf (1978)
Barely Legal (1982 and 1989)
Date More Minors (1998)
Golden Shower (1955)
Pleasure Me (2000)
She Can't Say No (1989)
Totally Toasted (2004)
Cherry Pop (1961 and 1978)
Ménage Á Trois (1974)
She's Easy (1978)
Strip Teaser (1980)
Rhythm Method (1982)
Bodacious Tatas (1985)
Tit'n Your Girdle (1988)
Kinky Lingerie (1991)
Hard Like a Rock (1995)
Sexual Harassment (1997)
X Rated Fantasy (1999)
Hardawn (1937)
Wrecked Em (1983)
Pussy Galore (1965)
Cunning Stunt (1969)

And yet, no Guntpuncher.  So sad. 

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