Kimbo Slice Murders Hilarious White Nobody

Pro Wrestling Editor
08.15.11 7 Comments

Kimbo Slice made his professional boxing debut at Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma, on Saturday night. Here’s everything you need to know about Kimbo’s life from birth until Saturday afternoon — he’s great at punching people to death, but because the world of mixed martial arts involves more than walking forward and punching, it didn’t really work out for him. Kimbo took some time off to heal up and train, and for his first opponent he chose James Wade, a guy who might as well have been a scarecrow with a piece of Wonderbread stapled to his face. Let me put it to you this way:

“James Wade is an American fighter out of Missouri, and he’s 0-1, but he doesn’t want to go 0-2. For Kimbo Slice it’s a great fight for his pro debut, it will give us time to assess where Kimbo is through his training, and how his learning curve has already begun,” Team Kimbo promotional advisor Jared Shaw said about the match-up.

“For James Wade this is his heavyweight championship, for Kimbo Slice this is his pro boxing debut.”

James Wade did not win the heavyweight championship.

Please enjoy all 17 seconds of Kimbo Slice vs. James Wade, with a little post-game wrap-up from the guy who still has his face.

Via Cagewriter:

“It’s like second nature for me. I’m comfortable here. I found a home here,” said Slice (1-0) of his crossover to boxing.

The 37-year-old also knows he has a lot to learn and didn’t want to get too excited about the win.

“I can’t give myself a good grade because my movements were a little shady. I felt like I didn’t really connect the way I wanted to. I still have a lot of learning to do. I’m a baby, taking baby steps,” said Kimbo.

The pessimist in me says everybody’s movements were a little shady, because boxing long ago spoiled the professional integrity (and realism) MMA clings to, but what do I know? James Wade is about as accomplished a boxer as me. Maybe next month Kimbo will take on Von Kaiser, and we’ll see how much he’s learned.

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