The News You’ve Been Waiting For: KISS Is Bringing An Arena Football Team To LA

Los Angeles! You wanted a football team, you GOT a football team! THE HOTTEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD … okay, maybe not “the hottest league in the world,” but Arena Football is pretty cool, right? No? What if I told you they were gonna be KISS-themed?

hey, where are you going

After a five-year hiatus, professional football will be returning to one of the largest and most exciting media markets in the country, Los Angeles. Announced today at ArenaBowl XXVI Media Day, rock legends KISS, Arena Football League (AFL) veteran Brett Bouchy, Doc McGhee (McGhee Entertainment) and AFL Commissioner Jerry B. Kurz are bringing the high-octane entertainment of Arena Football back to Los Angeles with a new expansion team, the LA KISS.

“As a fast-paced, high-action band this partnership with the AFL was an obvious fit for us,” said Gene Simmons of KISS. “With Arena Football, you are much closer to the action – sitting in the front row is like putting a folding chair on the hash mark of an NFL game – and it’s one of the only sports where you can experience this level of intensity. Attending an LA KISS game in 2014 will be similar to a live KISS show, with thrilling, heart pounding action.” (via AFL press release)

The best part of the announcement is that the team is seriously called LA KISS, and their logo took even less time to come up with than their name:

I always wanted KISS to play tennis. I bet they’d be great at tennis. They’d ace freely!

But yeah, congratulations Los Angeles, the NFL isn’t bringing a team to your area any time soon, but the guys who put their names on condoms and pez dispensers and bobble heads you’d buy at Spencer’s are going to mildly entertain you. Be careful, though; usually the inclusion of KISS in a sports thing is the kiss of death. See also World Championship Wrestling …

Or one of those creepily unsettling pictures of Paul Stanley throwing out the first pitch before a Blue Jays game.

It looks like he’s drowning.