Your New Favorite Football Player Is Named Kobe Buffalomeat

02.01.17 2 years ago

Illinois State officially signed a 6’7, 285 pound offensive lineman on National Signing Day. That’s not normally national news, but it is when he is named KOBE BUFFALOMEAT.

I repeat. Kobe. Buffalomeat. It’s so magical. It sounds like something you’d order at Ted’s Montana Grill. The highest end bison burger you’ve ever eaten, but no, it’s even better, it’s the name of a football player.

This is one of the best football names of all time. National Signing Day always offers up some tremendous names (who can forget Lion King, Divine Deablo, Eddie McDoom, Brodarious Hamm, and Equanimeous St. Brown among the recent great names to show up on Signing Day).

With all due respect to all of those players with wonderful names, there’s something so perfect about Kobe Buffalomeat being an offensive lineman. It’s one of the most appropriate name-position combinations ever, and it’s a phenomenal name even if we took it out of the context of football. Everything about this makes me happy.

I don’t care what the recruiting rankings say about Alabama or Ohio State, Illinois State has the No. 1 recruiting class in my heart because they signed a kid named Kobe Buffalomeat.

Say it one more time with me: Kobe Buffalomeat.

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