Kris Humphries Actually Got Paid

First the good news for Kris Humphries – he got paid. Despite trying to dump the free agent power forward on any team that would take him in a sign-and-trade for Dwight Howard, the Brooklyn Nets announced that they have indeed made K-Hump the final piece of their starting puzzle for the 2012-13 season. Humphries reportedly inked a 2-year, $24 million contract that will put the Nets over the $70 million luxury cap… with their starting 5 alone.

But that’s neither here nor there. Now for the bad news – Humphries’ ex won’t shut the hell up. Myla Sinanaj – the version of Kim Kardashian that you’d find on a really bad celebrity impersonator job site – had previously claimed that she was pregnant with Hump’s child, which would have been bad news with that new contract, but it turns out she was lying. Shocking, I know (and my apologies to Humphries for bagging on him). That should be great news for him, as it can’t hurt his divorce case, but now Sinanaj is going right after Kardashian.

Myla – who is reportedly expecting a baby with Kris [Ed. – She’s not, she lied.] – tweeted: ‘Hey @kimkardashian why don’t u enjoy ur Miami trip & stop sending private investigators to my house-Stop dragging me into ur drama (sic).

‘Subpoena me twice for the same thing! Hilarious

‘People get so used to hearing lies that the truth doesn’t even seem real anymore.

‘Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.

‘I am who I am. I like what I like. I love who I love. I do what I want. Get off my back and deal with it. It’s my life, not yours. (sic)’ (Via Monsters and Critics)

Good thing Hump stayed with the Nets – other than playing for his ex-wife’s boyfriend’s best friend – because I’m pretty sure Mikhail Prokhorov has a contingency plan for women like Sinanaj. Someone should probably tell her that.