Kris Humphries’ Divorce Could Ruin The Brooklyn Nets’ Playoff Hopes

If the NBA Playoffs started today, there would probably be a bunch of pissed off season ticket holders who would be like, “Yo, WTF, there are still 30 games left!” and then David Stern would laugh like a madman and throw lightning bolts at children. But it would also mean that the Brooklyn Nets would have the No. 4 seed in the Eastern Conference and a very intense first round matchup with the Chicago Bulls. The good news, though, is that the playoffs don’t start today.

Because the NBA Playoffs start on April 20, the bad news for Nets fans, if they choose to believe it, is that the long-awaited Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian divorce hearing will finally begin on May 6, and the most trusted source in NBA, marital and legal news is reporting that K-Hump would completely f*ck his team over just to finally prove that Kardashian married him for fraudulent reasons, thus exposing her as a fabricated, opportunistic fame monger and totally shocking the one person on Earth who didn’t already know this.

Since the trial could last 2-3 days … Kris has several options:

1. Settle the case BEFORE it goes to trial so he can play in the playoffs.

2. Play in Playoff games but miss the trial. It can go on without him, though it puts him at a handicap.

3. Go to the trial and let his team down

Sources close to Kris tell TMZ … the NBA’er has already made up his mind — if the Nets make the playoffs, and the trial falls on game days … he’ll ditch the games.

Now the really stupid part.

I’ll stop there. Thank you, TMZ, for finally admitting that something you wrote is stupid. A source close to Kris? Aside from a sock puppet named Farfles, who comes from the magic land of Sleepy Junction, there’s nobody close to K-Hump. So obviously that Kris is actually Kris Jenner, who has a magical mirror through which she feeds information to Harvey Levin and Co.

Oh Kris Jenner, if only you’d make me the happiest man in the world and say those magical words to me…

Yup, those words.