Kris Humphries Doesn't Make Much Sense

Senior Writer
03.15.12 3 Comments

"See? Forks are much nicer than pointy sticks."

The NBA trade deadline has passed (kind of) with no blockbusters as sort of expected, depending on which side of the Dwight Howard fence you were sitting. But Howard ended up finally signing his ETO to play for the Orlando Magic through next season (hooray for 365 more days of speculation) which means that most other teams just went business as usual, including Howard’s biggest suitor – the New Jersey Nets.

Leading up to Howard’s decision *groan* it was rumored that the Nets were possibly willing to sweeten their deal for the game’s best center by including MarShon Brooks, two draft picks and even Kris Humphries, if the former Mr. Kardashian would be willing to waive his no-trade clause. And I almost missed his outstanding remark about being traded, but thankfully my favorite Klingon tipster didn’t.

“Would you jump off a bridge?” Humphries asked reporters who inquired about his willingness to waive the no-trade. “It depends how high the water is (or) if there was a drowning baby in the water. I mean, because you (might) jump off in the summer, if it was warm out, (and) you know the water was deep underneath.

“It’s all circumstantial, is the point I’m trying to make,” he said. (Via the New Jersey Star-Ledger)

I’m really glad he pointed out that he was trying to make a point, because I would have had no idea what the f*ck he was talking about. At least it’s nice to know that he’d consider jumping off a bridge to save a drowning baby if it was warm enough outside and the water was deep enough. Because, seriously, I’m sick and tired of babies that drown in shallow water and put my body at risk. That’s just selfish.

In related news, Humphries’ ex, Kim Kardashian, is suing a Mexican plastic surgeon for using an image of her in a bikini on a billboard that is currently posted near the California/Mexico border.

(Via the Daily Mail)

While I can understand that she’s upset about someone using her likeness, I think her time is better spent finding a trophy big enough to properly reward the graphic artists who finished this new image of Kim and her sisters…

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